Photo by Ingrid Schnader.
Helen Demark played bingo with her fellow Brookdale Senior Living residents in celebration of her 105th birthday July 8.
Friends from across the country, family and fellow residents gathered at Brookdale on July 8 to eat cupcakes, play Bingo and celebrate the occasion.
When asked what wisdom she’d learned over the past 105 years, Helen had a simple answer.
“Just live,” she said. “And don’t hurt anybody.”
Helen was born in Ontario, Canada. She said her favorite memories from her childhood are of playing in the open fields.
She and her husband moved to Michigan in the 1950s. Helen’s husband died two weeks after their youngest child, Wendy Demark, was born.
“She’s had a hard life,” Wendy said. “She had to raise me and my brothers by herself. That took resourcefulness and grit.”
There wasn’t much money for luxuries growing up, Wendy said. Helen was born in the Great Depression, and those skills came in handy, Wendy said.
She never learned how to drive a car, and she always enjoyed walking everywhere. Her friends at the 105th birthday celebrations speculated that this kept her in shape and contributed to her continuing to live a long life.
Up until last year, Helen was living on her own. Her two sons have died, and Wendy has been living and teaching in Birmingham for the past 10 years.
“Things were all right, except she used to have a corner grocery store she could walk to, and that shut down a few years back,” Wendy said.
Her neighbors, who were also elderly, helped take care of Helen. Then the COVID-19 pandemic hit.
“They basically called me and said, ‘Listen Wendy, we don’t know if we’re going to make it through COVID and be able to get our groceries. You need to do something.’ Quite frankly, I had been after her for some time, and she had been putting me off. ‘I can live in my own house, and I can take care of myself,’ she would say.”
After Helen’s 104th birthday, Wendy convinced her to move from Michigan to Homewood and live at Brookdale, which is a short commute from Wendy’s work and home.
After seeing so many people gather to celebrate Helen’s 105th birthday, Wendy said Helen had earned it. Since Helen has had a difficult life, Wendy said sometimes it’s difficult for Helen to take advantage of all that Brookdale has to offer. For example, Helen loves a good glass of wine, and Brookdale has a happy hour for its residents. But Wendy said it took her forever to convince Helen that she could take a free drink from the senior living community and that it’s included in her rent. Wendy said it’s also difficult to get Helen to wear new clothes.
“Helen’s a working-class girl,” Wendy said.
Helen is trusty and opinionated, Wendy said. “She’s not one of these sweet old ladies. But I don’t think the sweet little old ladies make it that long though, you know? It’s the fighters, the cantankerous ones that have enough fight in them that they live this long.”
One of Helen’s favorite sayings that Wendy said she heard growing up was, “Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Till your good is better and your better is best.”
Ginny Maynard also attended Helen’s birthday party, traveling across the country for the occasion from her home in Washington. Maynard used to work for a medical device company, and Helen was one of her clients. This began a friendship between the two.
“We have called and talked to each other since she was 99, but we had never met,” Maynard said. “We would always say, ‘Oh, can’t wait till I get to meet you in person.”
VIDEO
► See a video of Helen’s Birthday party at Instagram
When Maynard’s husband died in April, she decided she would finally meet her friend during Helen’s birthday celebration.
“When I got there, they had some balloons for me to deliver to her, so she thought I was the delivery person,” Maynard said. “She’s hard of hearing and a little bit confused, and I kept talking louder and louder, and when she finally got it, she said, ‘Oh! Ginny, Ginny!’ She grabbed me and I grabbed her. It was so fun. It was worth every cent to get there.”
Maynard said she has been honored to hear Helen’s stories over the years and hearing her wisdom.
“She never learned how to drive a car, so she walked. And she said, ‘You don’t walk shuffling your feet with your head to the ground. You walk with your head up and your heart full of purpose. The world takes your hands and leads you home.’”
She called Helen a “gentle, unassuming soul” and said she wants to grow up to be like Helen.
“She has a vibrancy,” she said. “She hasn’t given up, you know? The way she faces life, the joy she shares with those around her is inspiring. I’ve enjoyed calling her all these many years and her me. It’s been a fun friendship. It was awesome to get to meet her.”
At the birthday celebration, there was a display of newspaper articles from Michigan celebrating Helen’s birthday milestones and dozens of cards from friends and other Brookdale residents. Also on display were letters from Queen Elizabeth and former Governor General of Canada David Johnston, which were written to her in 2016 celebrating Helen’s 100th birthday.
