Life Actually By Kari Kampakis: Model God’s mercy to your child
“Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy” — Matthew 5:7
Lately I have felt disheartened by the harsh nature of our world.
In short, there is no grace, forgiveness or room to be human. People are quick to turn on a dime, praising someone one day and then villainizing them the next. From the astronomic rise of cancel culture to the mentality that you can never recover from a big mistake (or bring good from it through repentance), it is all anti-Gospel.
The worst part is, our kids suffer the consequences. Have you ever wondered why this next generation is scared to death to fail? Why they feel pressure to be perfect and believe one misstep will ruin their life forever?
Today’s teens face epidemic levels of anxiety, depression and hopelessness. They’re the first generation of teens to be more stressed than their parents. One big culprit of this problem is the godless culture that’s shaping them. If I didn’t know the truth about Jesus and the hope of the Gospel, I’d be anxious, depressed and hopeless too.
Thankfully, God’s ways and thoughts are higher. While He certainly sets a high bar, calling us to live like Jesus, He also knows that we’ll miss the mark repeatedly. He is aware that our rock-bottom moments open the door to his mercy. His kindness when we least deserve it (or expect it) helps turn us away from sin. It convicts us in life-changing ways.
As Father Joseph Corpora says, “We think that we are saved when we get it right, when we stop sinning, when we become perfect. But the exact opposite is the truth. God saves us through our sins, through our imperfections, through our faults, through our failings, through our weaknesses. God saves us as sinners, not as saints.”
Your child won’t learn about mercy from a merciless world, so teach them/it at home. Share the Parable of the Prodigal Son. Emphasize God’s grace. Admit your own mistakes and tell them how God carried you. Criticize poor behavior or poor choices but not your child as a person. Ask your child how they’d handle a situation if they could do it over again. Remind them that who they’re BECOMING matters more than who they’ve been in the past.
And when your child fails, walk with them through the fallout. Remember how we are all one bad decision away from stepping off a cliff. Even when discipline or correction is needed, you can present it in a way that builds hope and trust. You can take your cues from a God who gives us all more than we deserve.
Some days I find it hard to believe how callous and irrational our world has become. I see witch hunts on social media that declare an offense from 20 years ago absolutely unforgivable. Society has become a courtroom, and collective rage is the reigning drug, but thankfully, God gets to be the ultimate judge. He knows every heart and hidden agenda and takes it all into account.
Again, your child won’t learn about mercy from a merciless world, so teach it at home. Remember your mistakes before responding to their mistakes. Most importantly, create a space that lets people be humans. Build life-giving relationships inspired by the hope of the Gospel and the promise of what’s to come.
Kari Kubiszyn Kampakis is a Mountain Brook mom of four girls, author, speaker and blogger. Her new book for moms, “Love Her Well: 10 Ways to Find Joy and Connection With Your Teenage Daughter,” is now available on Amazon. Audible and everywhere books are sold. Kari’s two books for teen & tween girls — “Liked” and “10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know” — have been used widely across the country for small group studies. Join Kari on Facebook and Instagram, visit her blog at karikampakis.com, or find her on the Girl Mom Podcast.