Life Actually: Sanity savers for a new school year

Most of us love the relaxing vibe of summer, but for a family, going from virtually no schedule to the chaos of a fall calendar can be overwhelming.

In fact, one of the biggest challenges from September to May is taking time to catch our breath because as the school year kicks in, so do the demands, pressures and activities that parents must juggle.

Especially this year, as we slowly return to normal life after the global pandemic of COVID-19, life may get extra-stressful as many events and activities postponed this past spring happen all at once.

Experts say it takes 21 days to form a habit, and while discipline and commitment can make a habit stick, the real engine for success is God’s grace. Following are some habits your family can adopt to keep the school year crazy under control.

Make gratitude a morning habit. Embrace and accept your life.

Gratitude does not come naturally. It’s a habit that must be practiced and learned. If anything can revamp your attitude toward parenthood, it’s learning to be grateful.

Honestly, everything is a gift, and whether it’s a noisy home or spending every afternoon driving a carpool, remembering how this season won’t last forever can give meaning to your chaos.

Your life may look or be different than what you imagined, and you may have bad days and difficult seasons, but don’t let negative thoughts cloud your thinking. In a world that tells us, “More is never enough,” you can choose gratitude instead, valuing ordinary moments and looking at life with a sense of wonder for what God has done and will do in the future.

USE THE 3-MINUTE INTERVENTION

A psychologist I know sets a timer each morning for 3 minutes. In this time, he plans his day and decides what must be done. He keeps his list manageable and treats the 3 minutes like mediation, stepping back to see the big picture through the part of the brain (the neocortex) associated with awareness, concentration and decision-making. This helps him discern what is important rather than what is simply urgent.

SAVE YOUR YES AND USE YOUR NO

You may receive invitations that God is saving for someone else. Before you commit, pray and discern what feels right.

A friend once asked me to speak at her event, and though I believed in this event, my participation did not feel right. When she pressured me to reconsider, it was hard to stick to my no, but something held me back.

A few weeks later, another friend of mine lost her husband. It was terrible, and two days before the funeral, as I dropped the kids off at school, I saw a yard sign for my other friend’s event. It was scheduled for the same time as the funeral, and I realized then why God nudged me to say no, because if I’d agreed to speak, I would have had to cancel at the last-minute.

Only God can see the future, so consult Him as you decide what belongs on your calendar.

MAKE TIME FOR GOD

C.S. Lewis said, “We have to continually be reminded of what we believe. No belief will automatically remain alive in the mind. It must be fed.”

When life gets busy, we all look for shortcuts, and it is often faith that gets cut out. However, we need daily reminders and spiritual disciplines, so incorporate God into your routine. Read devotionals, play worship music or listen to podcasts in the car. Let God be your escape, the one who fills you up so that you have something to pour out.

SPEND TIME IN THAT ‘HAPPY PLACE’ WHERE GOD RESTORES YOUR SOUL

We all have a happy place that feels like a deep exhale, a place that awakens us and feels like home.

Your happy place may be the beach, nature, or the mountains. It may entail a yoga mat, cooking, or flying an airplane. Whatever your happy place is, make time for it. Feel the joy that comes from nurturing your soul and the peace of feeling close to God.

We all receive the same 24 hours a day. The way we can spend our time becomes our lifestyle, and our lifestyle becomes our legacy. As you invest your time this school year, make sure it matters. Prioritize your people, your health, and your passions, and let God inspire your choices and the roads you choose to take.

DO WHAT’S BEST FOR YOUR FAMILY

The popular thing to do may not be the right thing for you. Just like your children, you face peer pressure. And when the school year begins, you’ll feel pressured to parent like everyone else. You may be tempted to make choices that don’t sit well with you because you’re simply following the crowd. Trust your gut instincts, make your own choices and don’t be scared of standing alone. It’s OK to have your own rules, and to let other families have their rules too. If you want your children to be brave in resisting their peer pressure, set an example in being brave too.

Kari Kubiszyn Kampakis is a Mountain Brook mom of four girls, author, speaker and blogger. Her new book for moms, “Love Her Well: 10 Ways to Find Joy and Connection with Your Teenage Daughter,” will release Aug. 18 and is currently available for pre-sale on Amazon. Kari’s two books for teen & tween girls — “Liked” and “10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know” — have been used widely across the country for small group studies. Join Kari on Facebook and Instagram, visit her blog at karikampakis.com, or contact her at kari@karikampakis.com.