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Shiny Happy People

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A picture says a thousand words, but what it doesn’t tell is backstory.

With kids, this means all the begging, bribing, crying, cajoling, blaming, and threatening parents employ in quest of a perfect shot.

There are 32 million seconds in a year, and all I want is one moment where my children shine in unison. My vain attempt to immortalize them in their finest form also serves to prove they can co-exist in peace, love, and happiness. It’s a simple request, right?

Wrong.

As a former children’s photographer, I recognize how most parents long for the same Kodak moments I do. Photos are, after all, priceless possessions. They’re a memory bank of time, reminders of things we think we’ll never forget but do. The irony, of course, is our kids could care less. Flippant and unenthused, they endure photo shoots with moans, fake smiles, and tantrums. We have to wonder: Are they scheming against us?

It often seems so—causing the most even-keeled parents to unravel as a result. People think other people’s kids behave better, but the true anomaly is a child who can take pictures for an hour in perfect spirits. As wonderful as it is, it’s not typical. And it doesn’t guarantee great pictures. Some of my favorite shots emerge in the wake of a meltdown. I always used to point this out to moms on the verge.

Right after I assured them my kids unglued me, too.

It’s true. Despite my patience with other children, portraits of my crew stir the monster in me. Our last Christmas card shoot sounded like this:

“Enough with the fake smiles, y’all look constipated…Quit gritting your teeth, Sophie…Marie Claire, put your tongue in your mouth…Ella, quit jabbing your sister…Okay, nobody’s listening, no ICEEs afterward…Y’all are driving me nuts…Next year I’m hiring a photographer…!”

Year after year, it’s an excruciating process, but I tough it out. Why? Because persistence pays off. Taking pictures is like childbirth, and once a shoot “delivers,” the pain fades away. With a pretty picture in hand, I can laugh at the day’s follies, admit I’d do it again (only next time with anesthesia).

I share my experience behind the lens to encourage others to step there. Thanks to digital, it’s easier than ever to pick up the hobby. When I first started seven years ago, everything was film, and it took days to see my mistakes. Now, through instant feedback, I make corrections on the spot. I click away without fear of lab fees. By cutting time and money from the learning curve, digital has broken down age barriers, allowing teens and even preteens to learn the ropes early.

I find this wonderful. As crucial as professional photographers are—the good ones deserve every penny—we can’t hire them for everything. One, it’s costly, and two, there’s no reason. Every family has someone interested in photography, and with a little practice, they can meet your needs just fine. Following are a few pointers to get started:

Above all, remember it’s better to snap something than nothing. When I look back on photos of my kids, the ones that thrilled me at the time aren’t what captivate me now. No, in hindsight I appreciate the quirky shots I hardly remember capturing: Sophie’s spiky baby hair, Marie’s Claire’s scoot, Ella’s pout, all three of them wrestling in the sand like cartoon characters.

As much as I cherish my Kodak moments, these ordinary photos are what launch me back in time. They fill in the blanks of an era come and gone.

And while they may not be as idyllic as a portrait, they’re every bit as special.

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