Parenting workshops address challenging teen issues
The youth Cameron Cole works with aren’t the same ones he knew five years ago.
As culture evolves, so do the struggles of teenagers, Cole said. Consequently, it’s hard for parents to keep up with these changes.
Now Cole and fellow ministers at Cathedral Church of the Advent are using what they learn from teenagers in youth ministry to offer a series of workshops to help parents address challenging issues.
“What we are trying to do is function as a bridge to communicate to parents what the students are struggling with as it pertains to sex, media, etc. and talk to them about how Jesus and the gospel informs them in helping guide their kids,” said Cole, the church’s director of youth ministries.
To determine topics for the Faith and Family sessions, the church asked parents about their concerns with parenting, and found the same themes they mentioned were the ones they were seeing in youth as well.
The number one topic requested was depression and suicide.
“There seems to be a lot more despair and depression than in what I saw in the past,” Cole said. “And on top of that, Mountain Brook has a high suicide rate, and so clearly students are having a difficult time coping with difficulty and suffering.”
The second most requested topic was on students and their relationship with food, which a session held in September addressed. Cole said there are few young women his ministry encounters who don’t have some level of anxiety or guilt related to eating.
Another trending theme is how parents can teach their children to engage with culture while also protecting them from it.
Cole knows that students are bombarded with messages from every direction and said that they are typically steps ahead of their parents in learning new technology that can potentially be damaging.
“Parents have to be protective about their kids, but at the same time it’s impossible to completely protect your kid from everything,” Cole said. “Because your child is going to be exposed to material, parents also need to learn how to engage in appropriate material and help their kids interpret it and why it is good or bad.”
This month, Cole will address “Good Sex” for the Faith and Family series. He said his ministry sees a lot of youth struggling with sexual addiction in particular, and many of them relate to having heard messages about sex that were very restrictive. Another theme among youth struggling with this is that their parents didn’t talk about sex very often and that they were not very affectionate around their kids. Cole advocates for teaching about healthy boundaries from a Christian perspective and what the Bible says about abstinence, but that’s not where he sees the conversation ending.
“And at the same time, if parents and the church are not talking about sex in positive terms, as a gift from God that married couples are meant to enjoy, if there is a lack of hesitation of affection around kids, that too can be harmful to kids,” he said. “Given all the problems we have seen kids have with compulsive and addictive behavior, we are trying to approach sex not just in terms of the rules but also encourage people to be more open about it and positive about it.”
Cole said they intentionally planned the events to be held the church’s Cranmer House down the street from Olexa’s in Mountain Brook Village in hopes that they would welcome people in the community who don’t necessarily go to their church or to any church.
Each session, held on third Wednesdays of the month, begins with a 30-minute lecture followed by a panel discussion with counselors and clergy. From there, dialogue opens up with all parties present. Many participants stay afterward to talk more about the topic.
“A lot of parents are comforted to know they are not alone in their struggles and their sense of inadequacy in parenting their kids,” Cole said. “It’s comforting to know that God speaks to this and that it’s not like technology and culture have outrun the hopeful news of what Jesus has done.”
Oct. 15
Good Sex: Positive — Not Shameful— Approaches to Christian Sexuality
Cameron Cole
Nov. 19
Is My Child Crazy? Understanding the Brain of a Child
Gil Kracke
Jan. 21
Depression and Suicide: Helping Kids Cope
Cameron Cole and Gil Kracke
Feb. 18
What Do I Do? The Role of Wisdom in Parenting
Mark Gignilliat
March 18
Offense v. Defense: Protecting Your Child While Preparing Them for the Real World
Joe Gibbs
All sessions are held at 7 a.m. and 9:30 a.m. at Cranmer House, 2828 Culver Road.