Sue Martin writes Out of the Whirlpool

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Photo courtesy of Sue Martin.

Sue Martin had never told her brother and sister-in-law her full story.

A few years ago, though, she decided it was time to take them to her world from nearly 30 years ago.

Her family members knew the end result, that Martin would become blind as, in her words, she was “sucked down into an out-of-control whirlpool.” But when the climax came, her sister-in-law gasped.

Facing serious depression at age 28, Martin had run away to a friend’s lake house and shot herself in the head.

But part of why the story is so shocking is because of what Martin’s life looks like now. She’s blind, yes, but her life experience has taught her that she can do anything she wants to do.

“I pulled myself out of the whirlpool by hard work, determination and courage and sailed out onto a calm sea,” she said. “That’s where I am.”

Last year, Martin released her memoir, Out of the Whirlpool, and now she is on a mission to promote it and speak about her story. In April, she addressed a group of adults and teenagers as a part of a community awareness event held by Aware. 

“I’ve got all these things [such as blindness and mental illness] people don’t want to talk about. I want people to ask questions,” she said. “I want people to know we are not defined by our depression or our suicidal thoughts. We can define ourselves. Where I am in my life right now is proof of that.”

Although Martin’s experiences might seem extreme, she believes that everyone can relate to her story. She sees herself as an ordinary person who did what she needed to do to overcome obstacles.

“No matter where you start out in your life, you are going to experience changes,” she said. “No matter how big or small that change, you don’t know the depth of the determination and courage you have until you are called on to use them.”

With the uniqueness of both surviving a suicide attempt and adjusting to vision loss, Martin long knew she had a story to tell. She first wrote out a draft in 1990, but it wasn’t until nearly two decades later that she sat down to fully expound upon her life experience. Around that time, she had read two other memoirs by people who were blind, and she realized it was time to draft a book. Twenty thousand words in, she had covered her experience in blind rehab, but she paused there until she could finally be honest about the cause of her blindness, the part of the story she had waited all those years to share with siblings.

Today, she said her book serves many roles. It enables readers to learn what it’s like to experience blind rehab in both a physical and emotional way. It’s a love story between Martin and her husband, whom she met in graduate school and married 29 years ago this July. It’s a story of human and dog.

“People are finding meaning [in the book] in ways I never expected,” she said.

One of Martin’s greatest joys in life is her guide dog.

“It was amazing to see the parallel between horse and rider, man and dog,” she said. “There is a level of trust that’s unlike anything I have experienced before. She is the one with the eyes.”

Still, she does many things on her own. Martin recorded the audio book herself in the best way she knew. She took her manuscript and divided it into one phrase per line. To record, she had her computer’s screen reader read a phrase, then she recorded that phrase, over and over again through a book of 353 pages.

A 1974 Mountain Brook High School graduate, Martin grew up with her family on 4 acres on Pump House Road at a time when everyone in the neighborhood had horses. It was there that she underwent blind rehab, but the next step in her journey involved leaving the state for graduate school. And it wasn’t until she was 46 that she and her husband moved back to her hometown. 

Still, most people in Birmingham didn’t witness her journey with blind rehab, she said, and she wants her childhood friends to know she largely hasn’t changed.

“Blindness has not slowed me down, and through excellent training and attitude, I am the same person I was when I was growing up here in Birmingham,” she said.

Despite what the tone of a book on suicidal depression and new blindness might seem, Martin said it’s anything but depressing. In fact, if she is ever looking for something to put her into a good mood, she reads chapter 60.

Out of the Whirlpool is available at Little Professor and Jim Reed Books as well as on Amazon.com. The audio book is available on iTunes, Nook and audible.com. For more, visit outofthewhirlpool.com or SueWMartin.com.

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