Parenting is hard for every family. Even with two unified parents giving 110%, it never feels like enough. Something will fall through the cracks because we, as humans, can’t meet every need. We have blind spots, weaknesses, oversights, and limitations…which is why we need a limitless, sovereign God.
Life can quickly feel overwhelming without a partner to share your load. You may feel the weight of the world on your shoulders and lay awake in bed worrying about your kids, your finances, or your future. But remember: God can work with any circumstances, and if you do what is right and stay faithful, you’ll reap a harvest in due time (Galatians 6:9). That’s a promise you can stand on.
My single mom friends have some of the strongest faith I’ve witnessed. They carry no illusions that they have it all under control. They depend on God daily for help, strength, and wisdom, and this reliance keeps them humble. It makes them aware of His hand in their life and every act of grace.
Your faithfulness is a gift to your children because one day, they’ll reach the end of themselves. Life events will bring them to their knees, and they’ll have a map to follow thanks to what you modeled. It’s been said that what you learn in the light, you’ll use in the dark, and somehow, God will use the seeds of faith that you plant today. These seeds may be a game-changer when your children face a crisis.
If you’re newly single, you may be in an especially dark place. You may look ahead and see nothing: no hope, no joy, no meaning. But God’s mercies are new each morning, and through Jesus, you gain new life.
Keep in mind that dark thoughts are from the enemy, who wants you to feel stuck and defeated, so take those thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. Replace the stories in your head with God’s timeless truth.
Instead of saying, “I’ve ruined my kids’ lives” say “I can do all things through Christ, and I trust God to use for good what man means for harm.” Rather than saying, “This is hopeless, and I don’t stand a chance,” say, “I’m doing the best I can in circumstances far from ideal. I’ll show myself grace and remember that I serve a God of miracles, who can turn 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread into a feast for 5,000 people.”
Even on your worst days, God loves you deeply and unconditionally. He’ll meet you where you are, but He won’t leave you there because His love transforms you. It changes you from the inside out by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Your greatest identity, even greater than your identity as a wife or mother, is that you are a child of God. You have immeasurable worth, and no person or event can strip you of that worth because you were born with it. What God creates, God loves, and what God loves, He loves forever.
So whether you’re single because your spouse died, your marriage grew unhealthy, he left you for another woman, or some other reason, you’re still priceless to your Creator. He still has a plan and purpose for you.
Parenting solo can be lonely. It’s important to surround yourself with encouraging voices, let people help you, and not be too proud to admit when you’ve hit a wall. In the Bible, when Moses’ hands grew too tired to keep holding them in the air, they put a stone under him so he could sit. Aaron and Hur then held his hands up, one on each side, so his hands remained steady until sunset and Israel could win the battle. Moses was a mighty leader, yet even he had weak moments. Weak moments don’t make you needy; they’re just proof that you are human.
Again, God can work in all circumstances. Your obedience is the key. Even if you must go back to work, even if you must downsize or tighten the budget, even if your kids need therapy and the family is falling apart…God is not scared of your mess. His power is made perfect in weakness, and He works all things together for good for those who love Him. He can redeem and restore what is broken.
In the meantime, hang in there, pray, and trust the Waymaker. Life will never be perfect on this side of heaven, but with Jesus we are walking toward a paradise with no pain, no sorrow, and no suffering. God is for you and God is with you, and through the healing power of Christ, He can lead you to a place of hope. He can empower you to see and proclaim the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
Kari Kubiszyn Kampakis is a Mountain Brook mom of four girls, author, speaker and blogger. Kari’s newest book, “More Than a Mom: How Prioritizing Your Wellness Helps You (and Your Family) Thrive,” is now available on Amazon, Audible and everywhere books are sold. Kari’s bestselling other books — “Love Her Well,” “Liked” and “10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know” have been used widely across the country for small group studies. Join Kari on Facebook and Instagram, visit her blog at karikampakis.com, or find her on the Girl Mom Podcast.
