Photo courtesy of the Kampakis family.
Kari Kampakis and daughters
Kari and her daughters hold her new book, 10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know.
Getting a book deal was a lesson in itself for Kari Kampakis. In fact, she includes its back story in 10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know, which releases Nov. 4.
It all started with a talk she gave to seventh-grade girls at Liberty Park Middle School.
At the time, Kampakis had been writing columns for Village Living, crafting her prose for moms and composing novels in hopes of finding a book deal. She just thought the talk for girls would be a favor for her friend who was a counselor at the school.
But when she shared the talk in blog post form last summer, it got shared more than 65,000 times on Facebook, which led to the eyes of an editor at Thomas Nelson.
Before receiving any confirmation of the book deal, Kampakis had already started expanding her list of 10 truths for girls ages 12-16. At that point, she knew it needed to become a book. A year later, it is one.
“I didn’t know why I was doing it then, but two years later I can see how it played out,” she said.
Likewise, the hardest part of writing for Kampakis was learning to write for girls, not their moms. Her editor had told her to channel her inner teenage self and speak as a wise big sister or best friend. If she sounded like a mom, girls would stop reading it, her editor warned.
“It forced me to dig into my past and deal with my own insecurities,” Kampakis said. “It also gave me more of a heart for girls. It’s so easy to get angry with them, but the better approach is love. We often forget how we felt at that age.”
Through the writing process, Kampakis drew not only on her own experience as a girl, teenager, mom of four girls and sister but also on advice she has received from people in the community over the years and stories she has heard from moms. A chapter on perfectionism drew both on her own focus on it and the number of times she has seen girls use the word “perfect” on Instagram.
She also takes into account the power of social media.
“With social media, it is so easy to be snarky and mean, and the quest for popularity is taken to a new level,” Kampakis said. “Today’s girls have a bigger problem giving each other grace.”
In a later chapter she expounds upon what she has heard from moms of boys about how girls are assertive with boys. Moms have told her stories of girls calling their sons all the time and the boys not liking that.
There is much about the book’s release that excites Kampakis. She hopes girls read it not just for themselves, but also use it to offer advice to their friends in the future. She envisions mothers and daughters discussing it together and hopes it triggers moms’ memories about their own insecurities and mistakes to share with their daughters.
“The more I share my struggles [with my daughters], the more it helps them to open up to me,” she said. “It helps them know I am not perfect.”
Now a couple of years after first requesting advice from moms of girls on a Facebook post to prepare for a talk at a middle school, Kampakis thinks differently about what it means to write for girls.
“I know I am meant to write for them,” she said. “Readers help me learn and grow and find what to write next.”
Starting Nov. 4, 10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know will be available in stores nationwide. To learn more, visit karikampakis.com or email her at kari@karikampakis.com. Locally you can find it at Please Reply, Snoozy’s, Stella Blu, The Pants Store, Alabama Booksmith, Sugar, A Little Something, Church Street Coffee & Books, Soca Girl and Crestline Pharmacy.
Kampakis is holding book signings Thursday, Nov. 6, at 4 p.m. at Alabama Booksmith; Sunday, Nov. 9, from 3-5 p.m. at the Emmet O’Neal Library with a book sale by Church Street Coffee & Books; and Sunday, Nov. 23, at 4 p.m. at Sugar.
